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2 Results For 'so bad it'

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March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)

Tags: #surviving


I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.


       

BigE

January 27, 2014 @ (Washington DC)

Tags: So Bad it's funny


My girlfriend and I were dating for a few months, and things were going really great until I felt pressured to tell her I loved her. I didn't want to be the one to cut things off because she told me about her post breakup anorexia, so I waited, getting more miserable because she never listened to my feelings. One weekend she invited me to her house, which was an ordeal because she didn't include me with her family or friends, and I got into an argument with her. On the way back to college, she broke up with me in front of her mom and sister. I couldn't believe it. She said she thought I needed help and that she couldn't talk it out because she needed to eat lunch with her family, but she contacted my dad and friends to let them know how distraught I was before I could. Later when I asked over Facebook if she would give me a movie ticket I paid for that she was holding for me, she said that she gave it to her stepmom. I proceeded to call her a bitch. Soon after I was greeted by a message from her father saying he called the police. Nothing happened, but during the next week or two, she proceeded to blog about me numerous times after saying she didn't blame me. Once I used the private blog she recommended to me to process things, but she passed my link to all her friends and one of them compared my to the shat out remains of Hitler after reblogging what I thought was a private post. Needless to say we are not on speaking terms.